Last week we talked about getting married and writing ethical letters to your spouse-to-be. This week I’d like to continue our discussion on ethical letters by focusing on ethical letters you can write to your kids. There are several ways you can approach this process.
The first option that you have for writing ethical letters to your kids is to write a single reflective letter after your kids are all ready grown. These letters can contain your favorite memories, times you cherish, experiences you had as a family, things you wish you would have done differently and they can even contain apologies for mistakes that you made in your relationship with them. Reflective letters can be difficult to write because you don’t remember everything while writing the letter or you may feel pressure to capture every important memory in a single letter.
Your second option is to write several letters throughout your child’s life. I would start the first letter when you are expecting. Talk about your hopes, dreams and fears about becoming a parent. For the best collection of letters, write one for each year of your child’s life between the ages of 0 and 18. Then you can write a letter after each major event in the adult child’s life, for example when they graduate from college, get their first real job, buy their first home, get married or have kids.
Your child’s ethical letters need to deliver your ethical values and to establish your own ethical will legacy.